Deck The Halls (2006)
Two neighbors have it out after one of them decorates his house for the holidays so brightly that it can be seen from space.
Run For the Hills Before You See “Deck the Hallsâ€Â
“Deck the Halls,†directed by John Whitesell and starring Matthew Broderick and Danny De Vito, in short – sucks. The acting, story, music, and overall Christmas spirit in the film – sucks. There are so many bad things to say about this film that I cannot fit into one article, but I’ll point out the most glaring.
First, the story. Danny (played by Danny DeVito), moves into a suburban neighborhood right across the street from Steve (played by Matthew Broderick). Steve is known around town as the Christmas guy, and is very proud of that fact. Danny quickly takes over the coveted crown of Christmas King by putting so many lights on his house that it will be visible from space! Oh, boy! As Danny increasingly puts lights on his house, Steve gets angry because he suspects Danny is stealing his power, and he’s annoyed because of the light shows that Danny puts on for the whole world to see. As people stop looking to Steve for Christmas advice and start turning to Danny, Steve takes offensive measures. Danny retaliates, and the neighborly feud begins.
Think about the premise of the film for a second, some dude wants to put a bunch of lights on his house so it’s visible from space. How ridiculous! How rank! How retarded! Steve’s efforts to ensure that never happens are uninventive, clumsy, and predictable. In one scene he dresses up like Tom Cruise from “Mission Impossible,†sneaks over to Danny’s house, and throws snow in his electric box. The audience was prepared for an acrobatic entrance by the aging Broderick, but instead receives one of the lamest assaults ever displayed in cinema (the “Home Alone†pranks look like feats of science compared to this garbage). In another scene Broderick flies over a car in a sleigh gone awry, and a kid in the car looks up and exclaims, “There really is a Santa Clause!†Okay, objects flying over cars and kids pondering the existence of fairytales should both be outlawed from movies.
The acting in this film probably couldn’t have been much worse, especially when one recalls the fine histories of De Vito and Broderick. Okay, Broderick wasn’t that bad. He’s looking old and wasn’t very funny, but his performance isn’t what I’d call a step forward in his career. De Vito was dopey. He waddled around and was very enthusiastic about everything like always, but he was annoying. The main problem with Steve and Danny is that you didn’t empathize with them. The story was so stupid that the audience wasn’t engaged, and as a result the main characters were unlikable. The despicable performances came from the supporting cast. The wives were shallow and fake. Danny’s daughters acted like a couple Paris Hilton clones and recruited Steve’s daughter to form a dance trio that looked like auditions for the Pussycat Dolls, and Steve’s son was just a brat.
The numerous attempts at comedy fell short and the sexual innuendos flourished in this supposed family comedy. Innuendos in the forms of a bra and thong sporting middle aged male cop, risqué paintings of Danny’s bimbo wife, and a scene with Steve and Danny unknowingly groveling over their daughters: “Who’s your daddy…I’m your daddy!†Steve shouts. This junk looks like bits that you might find on Conan O’Brien…if every writer on the team had writers block. The jokes were forced and telegraphed. I’d rather listen to Alex Trebek recite knock-knock jokes or watch Rosie O’Donnell walk the runway.
Don’t see this movie. You’ll leave the theater feeling less in the Christmas Spirit than before you came. Personally, I’d rather watch the “The Santa Clause 2â€Â…and I hated that movie. 1 star. Rated PG for mild language, and more crude and sexual humor than you’d expect.
