Hell Ride is a 2008 feature film from Larry Bishop being released under the “Quentin Tarantino Presents” banner. The film promises to be a blood and sex-soaked tale of motorcycle revenge and retribution.
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No one has reviewed this movie, well i know why because no one has probably even seen this shit fest. As sad as it is It hurts me to saw i was one of the many many many few who have seen this made for DVD movie, so i have the duty to review it. Let me start off by saying this movie was produced and watched over by one of the great directors of our time, Quentin Tarentino who even gave Larry Bishop (Director) his blessings for this pile of waste. If you dont know who Bishop is, well don't feel bad i don't think anyone would, he's a Z-class actor who featured on a few shitty fucking tv shows and happens to be the son of Rat Pack member and comedian, Joey Bishop.
Let's get to the movie, Larry Bishop not only Directs, produces and writes Hell Ride, but he stars as the main role of "Pistolero" (Dumbass name) or Johnny Prez. The movie is riddled with bad puns, horrible dialogue,shitty cinematography, underdeveloped shallow characters and just a bad and unimaginative plot-line.
The story follows Orange tanned, big eye popping Pistolero and his biker gang the Victors which contain other characters such as The Gent played by Michael Madsen and Comanche played by Eric Labeouf and their gang of fuckheads. Basically, one of their members get killed the same way Pistolero's late girlfriend died years ago, and they have a funeral by throwing filled beer bottles on his casket.....what the fuck? One thing i realized in the beginning which relates to the horrible SFX in the movie, is when Pistolero, The Gent and Comanche destroy a trailer, it explodes and if you look in the background, the trailer is undamaged....wow, just wow.
Bishop's convos with his main squeeze (i forget her name), are absolutely asinine beyond belief, they drag on, the puns used are stupid like "take out that fire hose" and "I'm fire resistant", just awe me. Another little easter egg i realized is the constant use of the number 666, which relates to the rival biker gang the 666ers, led by shitty fuck Billy Wings (Vinnie Jones). I will say the scene where he explains the tale of his wing tattoos to the stripper is hilarious, but other than that, he's a fuck face just like everyone else in the movie.
Skipping all the bullshit, the 666 conversations, the stupid ass puns and Comanche peeing on everything he sees, the movie has the most anti-climatic end fight scene of all time. The 666ers and Billy wings and the remaining Victors meet up gang fight style, and the Gent literally takes his gun out and kills all of them in 5 seconds, then they all take turns torturing and killing Billy WIngs.
This movie makes me want to throw up, it is a disgusting roll of shit. I remember the first time i watched it, i stopped when the gent and pistolero started talking about route 6 at 6:pm ...bullshit. With a shitty plot, shitty characters, shitty dialogue, shitty scenes, shitty production and just an overall horrible horrible concept, it's no wonder this was one of the few movies banished away from the screens to dvds.