Former Mexican Federale Machete plays by his own rules. After a harrowing encounter with drug lord Torrez, the shadowy Booth offers Machete the opportunity to assassinate the unscrupulous Senator McLaughlin. When Machete discovers he's been set up, he turns to fierce taco queen Luz, armed holy man Padre, and socialite April to go after Booth, but before they can get to him, Machete's gang will have to face blade-wielding ICE agent Sartana, who never met a man she couldn't flay.
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This movie is plagued with flaws. Flip the story around a little bit and it might have been a half way decent movie. The first real big flaw was the acting. It was pretty bad. Jessica Alba was probably the worst one. I had never noticed before how bad of an actress she is. Maybe it was just this movie I don't know. Next was the story. You have a senator (Robert DeNiro)who wants to stop illegal immigration. That's fine but they made DeNiro sound like a hick and an idiot! Another thing was that this movie supports illegal immigration in every sense of the word. I'm not racist in any way but I can't condone those who come to America without doing it legally. So many have done it legally yet there are the many that come here dishonestly which shits on those who did it the right way! Many people will like this movie but there are just too many flaws for me to look past. 4/10
Having never been a huge fan of Robert Rodriguez, I must admit, “Machete” is in many ways, very watchable. It is Rodriguez’s second attempt to construct a mind-blowing, audacious exploitation film, following his debut grindhouse feature, “Planet Terror”, in 2007.
The film is just your average revenge flick. Its R-rating signals the potential violence the audience would come to expect in a film named after a broad blade knife. In fact, the amount of violence in the film is almost outrageous. Rodriguez doesn’t shy away from the blood spattering, gut-ripping, head-chopping gruesomeness, he embraces it. Then again, the movie wouldn’t be the same without it.
But with all the blood and guts aside, the story itself is cliché in an almost childish way. Trejo plays the title character, who swears revenge on an ex-federal agent after witnessing the cruel decapitation of his wife. The plot thickens when he soon realizes that his path of vengeance would uncover the secrets of many others, including a corrupted Texas senator portrayed by Robert De Niro.
Hard fact: “Machete” is no Oscar material. It’s almost trashy, depends on how you see it. But that’s what makes it unique, and yes, brilliant. The plot itself isn’t what matters here, it’s the action and visual, however stunning and bloody. It’s about the style. I mean, do we really need to see a half naked Michelle Rodriguez or better yet, a completely naked Lindsay Lohan? But without them, what else does this movie have to show for?
From its insane, over-the-top storyline to its first rated cast and crew, the film actually turns out to be much more funny than one would expect. In many ways, it shares a lot of similarities with Quentin Tarantino’s “Kill Bill”. Equally as violent equally as meaningless. But like I said before, who cares? We’re not idiots, we’re fully aware of that fact the entire movie could’ve been told in less than two minutes, and the action sequences don’t do a thing to advance the plot, if there was any. But they are the juice in this movie, they are what makes “Machete” such an adrenalin rush.
Now, as always, every action-packed feature has a smoking female lead. In this case, we have two. Apart from tough girl Rodriguez, there was Jessica Alba. The part Hispanic hottie portrays a government agent who really has nothing to do with the story. But that is to be forgiven. We can just put aside the logic and simply enjoy the movie, and boy, what a hell of a crazy ride it was.
Almost two hours of building up leads to a rewarding but overrated climax. “Machete” is a cinematic carnage/summer popcorn flick and nothing more. It’s no “Inception”, but you certainly don’t have to see it a second time to understand. It’s pure madness, but hey, sometimes that can be a good thing.
This movie for me sums up Robert Rodriguez's films to a T.
From the minute it starts it's action packed mayhem. One minute the screen is red with blood the next minute you have a lovely set of tits right in your face.
I love the way the music changes immediately when the mood changes as well. Brilliant. A million spuds.
Another great grindhouse film by Robert Rodriguez. Blood, action, nudity, bad story, weird acting and washed up actors. That is what makes up this movie in a nutshell and it all works for it. This film had an interesting cast. Danny Trejo plays Machete. He was perfect for the role. He is only crazy looking person and he didn't have to say much, but when you hear the name Machete, you can picture him as the character. A great character was played by Cheech Marin; A priest wielding two shotguns. Could you ask for anything more? Michelle Rodriguez played a character called "she". She looked great for the part and really played up the character nice. You also have Jessica Alba who plays a sexy cop. Her acting was a bit strange, but the way she worked the character was great for the film. Tom Savini is an ok actor and always gets side roles. But the roles are always funny or interesting character. This make up artist really has it going for him. Now the four surprising people in the film. Robert De Niro was a big surprise. Usually I couldn't see him in a film like this and I know why. His character didn't fit with him too well. Then you have Don Johnson who really was a great character. Every close up of him wearing his cop aviators made me laugh. Then you have the famous Steven Seagal who I really can't stand. But some how, some way they found the perfect character for him and I really enjoyed his role. Last you have crazy Lindsay Lohan. How can the once teen star get back into the movies? They cast her as a messed up, sex crazed, woman with a gun. Plus she does do a few nude scenes. I guess that is the only way she could be in the film. I can never see her doing a serious role again, but strangely, this role did fit. So a very fun grindhouse film that is fun to watch and has some memorial action shots. Then you have that added to the badly edited film, just like the old days.
One of the most hilarious movies I have seen in a long time! In a nut shell, great satire.
I did not like Rodriguez's last movies, but this one is full of action, satire, action, stereotypes, political realities, great lines from every actor.
I laugh throughout the entire movie, so did the rest of the audience. This movie is just hilarious.
One of the most action-packed movies I've seen in a while, Machete is sure to keep you hanging. I walked into that movie, expecting a bloody action movie. What I found was more than that.
This movie is definately not for kids, as it includes plenty of f-bombs from every character, Danny Trejo using someone's large intestine as a rope for climbing down a building, brutal stabbing, plenty of blood, and Lindsay Lohan topless for a full scene.
But somehow, despite it's harsh nature, Machete is able to be a good protagonist in many ways. He is kind, caring, and a great father figure. He will do anything to avenge his wife and daughter, and he is a wild, can't-be-tamed kind of a guy.
Bottomline, if you like fast-paced hardcore movies with pure action, then Machete is a must see for you.