"You know how you see these billboards of a new bar with some radical name and the radio ads sound pretty cool so you think you’ll discover yet another home away from home until you get there and find the place is jacked full of yuppies, the drinks are overpriced and watered down, and not only" ...

"You know how you go to the bar and meet this really cool girl (could be a guy, but, yeah…) and start talking to her and she’s kinda funny and kinda interesting and you catch yourself having a really nice time? She’s more than you expected, a little deeper than you thought and her" ...

"You know that one sober simp who only knows one joke and tells it, always badly, repeatedly and the only reason you invite him along to the bar is so you can make fun of him? That’s why i see romantic comedies. So i can sit here in the Bar None and tear them a new one. Sure, it’s easy " ...

"You know how when you were in high school and you’d go to a party where there’s the one drunk ass who loves sneaking up behind girls and startling them by grabbing their shoulders and screaming in their ear so they jump and spill their beers and he giggles as he looks for the next chic" ...