Name: MichaelEsser
Most Recent Reviews by MichaelEsser
X-Men Origins: Wolverine, a Mr. E Movie Review
(Run time: 107 min. - Directed by: Gavin Hood - Starring: Hugh Jackman, Liev Schreiber, Danny Huston, Will i Am, Ryan Reynolds)
X-Men Origins: Wolverine, directed by Gavin Hood, ended up being exactly what I was looking for in an action, super hero movie! I mean of course we all know Hugh Jackman as Wolverine, but, what about Liev Schreiber as Victor Creed a.k.a. Sabertooth! These guys kicked up this flick so high that there's no way you'll be let down! And, if you only sort of like comic books you are still going to love this hot, visually stunning, character-filled film!
Here's the quick rundown...after Wolverine's father is killed by Victor's father he snaps and takes revenge killing the man and finding out he's really his father, making Victor his brother. Logan (Wolverine) and Victor (Sabertooth) have to flea their home where they find themselves involved in the Civil War, World War I, II, and even Vietnam! (Their regenerating powers keep them young and healthy.) Then, after Victor goes crazy they are sentenced to death but, because of their powers, can't. Enter Major Stryker who agrees to allow them to join his "special" unit. But, after a few missions Logan decides it's too much and quits. Six years later the old crew is being picked off one-by-one and Stryker seeks out Logan to get him to help stop the killer.
The array of characters just keeps coming! I literally was sitting there just waiting for who I'd see next! Everyone did an awesome job acting in this one. Not just Hugh Jackman and Liev Schreiber, who kicked serious butt! But, Danny Huston did a great job playing the hated, conspiring Major Stryker. Then the multi-talented Will i Am, from the Black Eye Peas, who played John Wrath to perfection! Ryan Reynolds was cool as he took on duel roles as both the wise ass, sword wielding Wade Wilson and as...oh I'm not gonna say! You'll just have to watch it to find out.
Now, I know that it deviates from the comic book, especially the ending, but I didn't care because on a whole when I was done I was satisfied with the outcome.
Anyway, even those who only know the regular X-Men from the first movies or the cartoons will get a kick out of X-Men Origins: Wolverine as you get glimpses of other insights into some of your other favorite mutants as well.
I definitely recommend X-Men Origins: Wolverine to all the guys out there ages 10 to 60! As far as my recommendation of it to the women I have 3 words for you...Hugh Jackman, shirtless.
Public Enemies, a Mr. E Movie Review
(Run time: 140 min. - Directed by: Michael Mann - Starring: Johnny Depp, Christian Bale)
I had huge expectations going in to see the new Johnny Depp gangster flick Public Enemies. I am a big gangster movie buff and love almost everything I’ve seen from the black and white classics all the way to The Soprano’s. Public Enemies is nowhere on this list for me. I mean, come on, he did an awesome Donnie Brasco, an iconic Captain Jack, and really just seems to nail every wacky role he morphs into. So, why not a killer John Dillinger?
Anyway here’s the story. Tons of bullets are spent, a couple jail breaks happen, and John meets a girl. Period. Sorry, I thought they could of rapped that up in an hour and a half easily! Instead they drawl out and try to intertwine the whole cat and mouse game between bank robber Dillinger and Federal agent Melvin Purvis, played by Christian Bale.
I think if the movie itself would’ve played a lot quicker I might of liked it more. It really seemed to drag on and on. And unfortunately I didn’t even like Dillinger anymore after seeing this movie. I didn’t feel like he was special or cool in anyway, I mean the coolest thing he did was walk right into the main office of the Federal agents chasing him once and no one unrecognized him, that’s it?
Christian Bale was cool. He did his part, nothing spectacular thou. (Unusual for Bale.)
Now, a bunch of people got shot and killed in this movie but, only one thing really got killed during this movie and that was my time. And so unless you’d like to share my fate I suggest you put away your “Tommy gun†and steer your old big block V8 to a completely different movie before I have to tell you I told you so.
(Sorry Mr. Depp, I really tried. Loved you in “What’s Eating Gilbert Grape�)
Star Trek (2009), a Mr. E Movie Review
(Run time: 127 min. - Directed by: J. J. Abrams - Starring: Chris Pine, Zachary Quinto, Eric Bana, Karl Urban, Zoe Saldana)
I saw the previews, downloaded the trailers, attended a pre-release hype party, and lined up on the first night to see the new Star Trek movie. You might think I risked a chance of being over exposed or hyping a film up too much, and thus, risking an overly critical outcome…nope. Even with all the expectations this movie has not only lived up to the hype but it even surpasses it!
The movie’s about the origin of the USS Enterprise being launched from Earth into space and the original formation of her beloved crew. Kirk, Spock, Bones and Ohura graduate from the Star Fleet Academy and set off into space where the time traveling Nero, played by Eric Bana, is hell bent on revenge. The focus of his wrath is Spock, the one he believes destroyed his home planet.
Chris Pine played the young James T. Kirk. Pine captured such a realistic part of this character that not only was more believable than the original, but better, in my opinion. He truly came off as a relentless rebel and I loved it! Then there was Spock played by Zachary Quinto. Again, Zachary Quinto played young Spock so well that his performance was so good that it was a stand out even right next to the original Spock, Leonard Nemoy. I think what I liked most was the fact he was such a young and driven character, that was so true to the Vulcan way, and yet just enough human to be perfectly balanced. Bones, played by Karl Urban, was such a wise cracking, smart ass that I thought he was channeling his original counter part! Ohura played by Zoe Saldana was hot! She was so strong and intelligent that I can really see her having the entire fleet wrapped around her little ear piece.
I definitely recommend this movie to anybody looking for an excellent movie watching experience! It is probably one of the year’s best pictures, hands down! I am eagerly salivating for a sequel! Star Trek is sure to live long and prosper!
Gamer, a Mr. E Movie Review
(Run time: 95 min. - Directed by: Mark Neveldine and Brian Taylor - Starring: Gerard Butler, Amber Valletta, Michael C. Hall, and Ludacris)
If you want to see a cool action-packed flick that's gonna just kick your butt from beginning to end then check out Gerard Butlers new movie Gamer. I loved the concept and actors so much that for the first time, in a long time, I actually wish a movie was longer!
In the not so far off future the world has gone through some desperate changes. The health care system has collapsed, the country's on the verge of bankruptcy, and everything has begun to fall apart. Then, one day a man named Ken Castle, played by Michael C. Hall from Showtime's Dexter, comes along with a solution. Virtual video games that give the user the ultimate control over real humans! Innocent at first the game was just a full scale version of the popular Sims style games. But, when the prison system needed financial rescuing a new version of the game was born. "Slayers" violent combat style play was an instant hit throughout the world and its star is a man named Kable, played by Gerard Butler. Behind the scenes Kable's controlled by a 17 year old kid named Simon, but, as the movie quickly plays out everyone is truly being controlled by Castle and his vast empire of technology.
Kable's motivation to stay alive is based on the notion that after he survives 30 sessions he'll be released to be with his wife, played by Amber Valletta from Transporter 2, and daughter.
Although most of the world is falling into Castle's trap of giving up control of their lives out of desperation, not everyone is so ready to conform to selling their souls to the devil. Enter Humanz Brother, played by Ludacris, and his underground movement of genetic cyber hackers who plan to free Kable and the rest of the world from Castle's evil grasps.
This movie has a strong tone for our society. Subliminally playing into the whole end of days prophecy's that Satan will return and unite the world only to forcefully brand us all with his 666. (In this case a promise for a cure to all disease using the same mind and body controlling genetics Castle uses to control Kable and his other "game pieces".) They even touch on the collapse of health care to make the point.
I think the story was entertaining and original. All of it complimented well with the movies face-paced, action-packed visuals, and a pretty believable possible future. (All except puking recently drank alcohol into a gas tank to get a truck running? That's one for the Myth-Busters!) I just wish that it had more of an ending cause I left the theatre thinking "it's over already?" Not that they missed anything, I just wanted more.
I really recommend this movie to anyone looking for a good movie going experience. All the POW's and BOOM's you want while being just long enough that you don't run out of popcorn and soda!
Extract, a Mr. E Movie Review
(Run time: 92 min. - Directed by: Mike Judge - Starring: Jason Bateman, Ben Affleck, Mila Kunis, Kristen Wiig)
The new comedy Extract isn't necessarily a laugh riot, but it has it's moments. Now, don't get me wrong Extract is a bad movie, it‘s just not a great movie! It’s entertaining, full of colorful characters, and was worth the price of admission. It just doesn’t take you on that much of a ride.
The story is about Joel, played by Jason Bateman, who is the owner of an extract manufacturing plant. But, when an accident happens on the warehouse floor it has Joel worrying about a possible lawsuit. In addition, Joel and his wife Suzie, played by Kristen Wiig, are having problems with their sex life and so Joel turns to his bartender buddy, played by Ben Affleck, for answers. His suggestion, hire a guy to sleep with his wife so he can have a guiltless affair with his new temporary employee Cindy, played by Mila Kunis. The only problem is that Cindy's really a con woman out on her own mission at the extract plant and it could cost everybody everything.
If improvements were to be made in this movie it would have to come from Mike Judge’s naturally sarcastic side. I mean Office Space King of the Hill, and even Beavis and Butthead were all successful because of Mike’s witty sarcasm. Those adjustments would have lifted the rest of the movie and it all would’ve became more entertaining. As far as the acting everyone was on point especially Jason Bateman. He has an undercover comedic talent that I'd definitely like to see in more movie's. Ben Affleck was great at playing a cool devil's advocate. (A role I think he really seems to enjoy!)
As far as the women go, Mila Kunis played the slick, hustling, hottie to perfection and Kristen Wiig's purposely dry character was just what was needed to make the whole story work so well.
I'd recommend Extract for an innocent date movie or maybe even for something to go see on a weekend afternoon.
District 9, a Mr. E Movie Review
(Run time: 112 min. - Directed by: Neill Blomkamp - Starring: Sharlto Copley, Jason Cope, Nathalie Boltt)
Ok, I got to say it...District 9 lived up to the hype! Usually all the build up of a movie means you need to get ready for a serious let down, but that's just not the case here. District 9 really is a cool and entertaining approach to the whole alien experience. I think this Peter Jackson produced and Neill Blompkamp written and directed film should and probably will end up nominated for a Best Picture Oscar.
When Aliens arrive on Earth they hover their giant ship over Johannesburg, South Africa. Then, once there, they make no attempt at further contact until international pressure forces a crew sent up to the ship to cut into it. Inside they find a million aliens who are all sick and hungry. The decision to bring them to a special camp where they can be fed and cared for is made.
Fast forward 20 years and everything is no longer as harmonious as everyone thought they would be. The MNU, Multi-National United agency, has been put in charge of moving the "Prawns", called so because they resemble shrimp, to a new camp that’s further away from the city.
In charge of the evictions is Wikus Van Der Merwe, played by Sharlto Copley, a quirky, by the book, corporate nerd. Who once inside District 9 uncovers several odd revelations that quickly lead him down a crazy path that ends up with him befriending one of the “Prawns†named Christopher Johnson and his alien son. Wikus is forced to join them on a quest to try and solve everyone's problems.
This movie has a lot! The whole social under-tone about racism and genocide plays well and the special effects are great! Everything comes together leading us directly into a possible District 10 sequel!
If you haven't seen it yet, you should definitely check it out on the big screen if you can. I recommend this movie to anyone looking to see a real good sci-fi picture that's got a good message mixed in with it. This one is an out of this world winner.
Adventureland, a Mr. E Movie Review
(Run time: 107 min. - Directed by: Greg Mottola - Starring: Jesse Eisenberg, Kelsey Ford, Michael Zegen, Kristen Stewart)
Adventureland is that movie that reminds you of your first couple, crappy jobs. And true to the title a majority of the movie takes place at a rundown amusement park named Adventureland. As a nostalgic comedy set in the late eighty's Adventureland feels cool like Superbad but a little like Dazed and Confused. (Both of which were Awesome!) I really enjoyed this movie on a real cool level.
After an art major, played by Jesse Eisenberg, graduates from college he goes home and finds that not only is his summer graduation trip cancelled but his opportunity to go to graduate school in jepordy all because his dad has been demoted.To save himself he's forced to take an end of the line job at the Adventureland amusement park. There he's assigned to monitor the carnival games with all the flunkies.There he meets the girl of his dreams, played by Twilight star Kristen Stewart, after almost getting knifed for a giant stuffed panda. Her guy-on-the-side is Ryan Reynolds who plays the parks handy man and ultimate cool guy. After a sexless summer of uneventful work and joint smoking, our graduate's problems just keep coming after a little fender bender cost him big and his last chance friend changes his mind. (Not to mention what happens when the secret his new love interest has been keeping is revealed!)
There were quite a few funny parts, but mostly slacker humor. Which is cool. It's a smart and entertaining movie that when you add in the weed smoke and the flash back to the eighties styles and you've got a movie that'll take anyone over 30 back to a not-so-cool-but-still-kinda-cool time.
I recommend this movie to anyone over 16 for the humor but really recommend it to the over 30 crowd for the above mentioned nostalgic reasons. Check it out, its cool.
Ghosts of Girlfriends Past, a Mr. E Movie Review
(Run time: 100 min. - Directed by: Mark Waters - Starring: Matthew McConaughey, Jennifer Garner, Michael Douglas)
Mathew McConaughey and Jennifer Garner star in the romantic comedy Ghosts of Girlfriends Past. Ghosts of Girlfriends Past is a romantic re-telling of the holiday classic, A Christmas Carol and Director Mark Waters does a great job bringing us through this warm hearted love story.
Connor Meade is the hottest photographer in town. He's also the hottest lover in town! All the woman he comes in contact with seem to be throwing themselves at his feet. So much so that he has to break it of with three of his latest girlfriends, all at once, and...on a conference call with each other!
Connor's views on life and love continue to be revealed after he arrives at his brothers wedding, where he's the best man. Jenny, played by Jennifer Garner, is the bride's maid of honor and happens to be Connor's first love. She's the one that got away. During the rehearsal dinner Connor refuses to give the traditional toast or to be the wedding photographer and in addition proclaims for all to hear that love and marriage are a myth. Then, after a series of unfortunate events Connor starts to cause a riff in the wedding's plans that might not be repairable.
Once alone, Connor is visited by the man who taught him everything he knows about playing women, his idol Uncle Wayne, played by Michael Douglas. Uncle Wayne tell Connor that he will be visited by three women who hope to shed light on his womanizing ways before it's to late.
Matthew McConaughey is the perfect actor to portay the player Connor Mead. He's got all that one would need to play a believable chick-magnet all while having just enough character to be the sensitive type. Jennifer Garner was great as Matthew's co-star adn love interest. A cute and a very talented actress that too was believable as the "I've been hurt, but, never again" leading lady. As for Michael Douglas, I think he played the player role as if he pulled it from his own playbook. (Because he probably did!)
I can definately recomend Ghosts of Girlfriends Past to just about anyone wanting to sit down to a movie and be satisfied when the credits role. A great story, a great cast, and a good movie watching experience. Check it out!
Observe and Report, a Mr. E Movie Review
(Run time: 86 min. - Directed by: - Jody Hill Starring: Seth Rogan, Ray Liotta, Anna Faris)
The ever so popular Seth Rogan has a new movie out on DVD named Observe and Report. Now, even when I saw the previews a few months back I said to myself, "I'm going to wait and see that on DVD." And boy am I glad I did, I think. I mean this movie is what Paul Blart Mall Cop would've been if it was incoherent, unentertaining, and a serious disappointment!
Seth plays Ronnie, the unreasonable, "I take my job way too serious", head of security for the local mall. After a pervert wreaks havoc, flashing the female patrons in the malls parking lot. The real cops are called in to officially handle the investigation, enter Ray Liotta. Ronnie's offended. But, when the make-up counter girlhe has an unrealistic crush on, played by Anna Faris, becomes the latest victim of the flasher he decides to personally take the case on. It becomes his mission for redemption from all those time’s he didn’t get respect for being a rent-a-cop.
"Mr. Head of Security" calls on his crack-head team of security guards to assist him throughout his investigation. They consist of two, gun happy, Asian twins, played by Matt and John Yuen, a butt-kissing, drug using Mexican, played by Michael Pena, and some new guy they just got from one of the mall stores, played by Jesse Plemons. The balance of the supporting cast comes in the form of an injured food court worker, played by Collette Wolfe, who slowly develops a predictable crush on Seth’s character.
Seth Rogan is usually a funny, likeable guy, and the movie's he's in are usually entertaining. Unfortunately, this movie had none of those qualities and even less! I couldn't believe any of the characters, including the usually on point Ray Liotta, all the performances where seriously lacking, and the story just wasn't there!
If I had to pick out the best and funniest moment in the movie I'd have to say it was the thirty seconds in which Seth and one of the kiosk vendors in the mall, who don't like each other because Seth's character is rude and racist towards the vendor, try to one up each other with a series of exchanged "F-You's".
I Observed and so now I must Report...I can't recommend this movie to anyone I know or like. I can say if you want to have a "car crash" of movie watching experience with none of the payoff then waste your time with Observe and Report.
(Sorry guys, I am rarely this critical. I even watched it twice to be sure.)
Zombieland, a Mr. E Movie Review
(Run time: 81 min. - Directed by: Ruben Fleischer - Starring: Jesse Eisenberg, Woody Harrelson, Emma Stone, Abigail Breslin, Bill Murray)
Woody Harrelson is kick ass and out of hand in the ghoulish world of Zombieland! I'm telling you Zombieland is the funniest, most entertaining zombie movie ever! The Zombieland experience is what going to the movies should be! And, Jesse Eisenberg rips the land right out of adventure and blows it straight through the chest and head of Zombieland!
The worlds gone crazy and become infected with disease. Everyone, everywhere seems to be infected it by it. First it's a fever that leads to madness, and madness that ultimately leads to a fetish for flesh! The opening of this movie has one of the best title sequences I honestly think I've ever seen! As Columbus, played by Jesse Eisenberg from Adventureland, begins his voice over to catch us up on the madness we see visually assaulting us in a borage of creative, stunning zombie kills, all while Metallica's "For Whom the Bell Tolls" rocks out in the background.
Zombies are on the loose everywhere and no one is safe! Well, unless you follow a few simple rules.#1. Cardio, because if they can't catch you they can't eat you! #2. Beware of Bathrooms, because zombies attack when they know your vulnerable, so hold it! #3. Double Tap, don't be stingy with your bullets, always make sure the zombie's dead with one shot to the chest and one to the head! Add in a few other rules such as buckle up and always check the backseat and you get what plays out in the first scene! Columbus stops at a gas station and is attacked when he tries to use the bathroom. He then has to run around the parking lot to avoid the two slower zombies who are attacking him. all while trying to get the keys into his car door. When he finally gets into the car he buckles in but forgets to check the back seat which of course has a zombie in it! Speeding into a wall he ejects the zombie through the windshield and of course has to double tap him. (Hilarious!)
Now on foot and trying to make his way home to Columbus, Ohio he runs into the tough as hell, smart ass Tallahassee, played by Woody Harrelson. (See a theme in the names?) Tallahassee is the baddest zombie killer there is! He actually make's killing zombie's into an art form! Using everything from a banjo to a baseball bat to make his kills! The two decide to team up and hit the road with Columbus heading for home and Tallahassee looking for a Twinkie. (Yeah, that's right I said Twinkie!)
When the two stop in a town to check if the grocery store has any Twinkies left they run into three zombie's and two sisters, Wichita, played by Emma Stone from Superbad, and Little Rock, played by Abigail Breslin from Little Miss Sunshine. Initially thinking they're helping the girls the guys are tricked by the two cons and robbed. But, not too far down the road they all decide that they should team up with the only other humans they've seen in awhile and head off.
Ruben Fleischer used the actual rules as cool graphics worked into the screen shots as sight gags that play out so well that it really adds simple, perfectly timed elements throughout the movie that really make the Zombieland experience that much more entertaining. Fleischer's slow motion camera tricks were so bad ass in that they really gave you the opportunity to visually absorb the action as it plays out to a point where you can actually appreciate it for what it is.
Everyone's acting was right on point. Jesse Eisenberg had just the right amount of funny likeable, nerdiness while Emma Stone was cute and tough all at the same time. Young Abigail Breslin played an outstanding little tough chick while the movie's stand out performance goes to the zombie crusher himself, Woody Harrelson. I think this is one of the best roles Woody's played since Natural Born Killers! Finally, when you add in a hilarious cameo by Bill Murray you really get movie magic!
I recommend this movie to anyone breathing, mainly because zombie's probably won't like the way they're depicted in this film. All I have to say is that if you want an awesome movie going experience then check out Zombieland! And, then do like me and make plans to check it out again!
