Name: chelano

Most Recent Reviews by chelano

I will pitchfork you!

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Reviewed by chelano

A small town in infected and it is so small, no one really cares about it except for the people who live there. I guess you could say if something happened, the army could just wipe it out and cover it up with something else. The movie was decent but as for a horror film, it had a lot of problems. The cast was decent. It mostly focuses on a few people. Timothy Olyphant; who I thought was good, but really didn't fit his part. Then you have Radha Mitchell who seemed to fit the park, but was a little off on her acting. You also have Joe Anderson who I personally enjoyed the most. He had a lot of emotional changes in the film and it shows. The zombies in the film were not the typical brain eating ones. This was more of a virus that basically makes people angry and not able to think. It just makes them want to kill anything that is alive and in return when everything is dead, they die themselves. The army was suppose to use it on places of war, but oops, it fell on this small town. The way the infected looked was pretty cool looking. They were not really warped looking, but more just looked like they had a disease that destroyed their body from the inside out. The story of the film had promise but by the end did not deliver and with some strange bad CG scenes, it just made it worse. But for the most part, you can tell what they are getting at and it can be fun to watch once.

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Thai dancers will eat you

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Reviewed by chelano

This is a strange yet interesting story. A young 18 year old girl's grandma gets sick. The grandma teaches her a black magic. The girl goes to the city to get a job so she has money to help her grandma. The job is being a dancer and a prostitute. It is funny since the girl looks younger than 18. Ok maybe not funny, but makes you feel a little uneasy watching it. Now she wants to be the best dancer so she uses magic to do so and in return she loses herself and becomes a demon that is sort of like a vampire. This could of been an excellent movie, but the ending did not resolve the beginning. It is like it was just cut off and you have a million questions not answered. Suangporn Jaturaphut plays the lead and they did not hire her for this character because she has the word porn in her name. She was actually a really good actress and was enjoyable to watch. There were some actresses as side dancers that really were horrible and not fun to watch. They came off as very annoying. When Suangporn Jaturaphut was dressed as the demon, she was pretty creepy looking. But when she attacked, it looked kind of fake. How she kills was pretty interesting though. Again, another different take on the whole demon vampire thing; which makes it more original. So the first ten minutes of the movie should of been in there since the movie needed about 10 minutes at the end to explain it and they never did. Other than that, it was an interesting movie to watch.

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Rent A Family

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Reviewed by chelano

Director Sion Sono had done a film called, "The Suicide Club" that had an interesting story, but was just a mediocre movie. In fact it had seemed like there were holes in the story. This film pretty much fills in all the holes and has so much more added on. This movie is almost three hours long and jam packed with dialog. But really good dialog. It almost had a poetic feel to it. This is called semi-sequel, but actually it more or less takes place during the other movie. This film is listed as a horror film. But it is not the gore fest that "The Suicide Club" was. The movie had no scare factor at all. But mentally it was creepy. Two sisters run away from home and get into a business where others rent them to be part of their family. The creepy part is that they take on different names and personalities and they get so use it, they become these alternate people. It really does give the movie a creepy warped feeling at parts. The sisters are played by Kazue Fukiishi; who is a nerdy type girl who becomes more open with her other personality. Then you have Yuriko Yoshitaka; who basically turns into someone else, but mostly stays the same personality wise. The girl who runs the business is played by Tsugumi who has the most warped mind in the film. She loves role playing in these families because she never had one. She likes it so much, it is like she is trying to find the perfect family to stay with. The movie does run a bit long, but in some ways it is worth it because the words spoken and the meaning behind the movie are pretty powerful.

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Babysitting Satan

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Reviewed by chelano

A movie made in the 2000s based on the 1980s. You really don't see that much and I loved that they did it. I guess there were some stories back in the 80s about Satanic rituals. This story was based off of one. I will tell you, I would not want to be in this girl's shoes. Staying in a big, old creepy house, by myself, watching an old woman I have never seen, really late at night. She was setting herself up for disaster. The main role was played by Jocelin Donahue, who made herself look like she came straight from the 80s. She had really good acting skills and I loved her role. But the one side character that really creeped me out was played by Tom Noonan. His voice was always so calm. It just made him seem like the creepiest guy ever. So basically Donahue stays in the house to watch what she thinks to be an old lady, but turns out she is stuck in a Satanic ritual. The film is not really that scary till the end. But it does have a lot of suspense that builds up to it. Some scenes will get you going. I recall a scene with a gun and someones face that really got me to shift in my chair a bit. They could of added a bit more scare factor in the film leading to the end, but the piece was still ok as is. Just would of been better the other way in my opinion. Again, another thing that does bring out with fright factor is that it is based on a true story. That always gets to me.

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I love the music

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Reviewed by chelano

Basically an American girl who loves ballet goes to Germany to join a very popular school there. Unfortunately it is run by witches. For a horror film, it is not that scary. It has the potential to be creepy and spooky, but not scary. Plus the fact you really don't see any witches. Well you do, but that would spoil it. The story line is ok for the film, but really doesn't have the suspense it needed to give a dynamite ending. Jessica Harper plays the main role and does a decent job. There are many side characters and they split with good and bad acting. There are many funny scenes in the film that you have to pay attention to see. For example, there is a pool in the school. Harper and another girl swim in shorts and a shirt. Why they didn't let them wear suits, I don't know. But the funny thing is that all they wore were shirts and you can easy see through them. The music for the film was played by a group called "The Goblins". This definitely gave the film a spooky feel. You would hear the music and it would make it feel like Halloween. So the movie did have a decent story line and it was fun to watch. Of course it could of been better, but at least you wanted to wait to the end to see what it happening. This is truly a better movie to watch than most horror films now a days.

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