Name: lordodin

Most Recent Reviews by lordodin

The Hills Have Eyes

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Reviewed by lordodin

Bad, bad movie. Anyone up for a little mutant rape? I did not think so. This movie is a clear-cut example of the word “gratuity". Too much of one thing is not always a good idea, nor does it always work. Hills Have Eyes 2 is an example of gratuity that does not work. This movie was an exercise in "one-up-man ship" of movies like Hostel. Hostel worked because there was an attempt of character development, and because of the bazaar nature of the story. OK, so you have these mutant dudes wreaking havoc in some crappy desert. "Their kind" is the aftermath of United States atomic bomb testing from years ago. Come into their area, and you will be eaten, killed and raped (and not necessarily in that order). OK, class got it. That is the whole movie and it sucked wilder beast ass!

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Premonition

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Reviewed by lordodin

I will say it straight up! I refuse to give this movie a single star! In fact, I am giving this a negative star. This was one of the most lackluster silliest little chick-flick movies that I have ever seen. I just watched this piece of garbage movie this afternoon with my wife. I would have rather been slitting my freaking throat than having to endure this miserable effort. What in the world was going on with this mess?? The plot was cantankerous, the acting was abhorrent and the execution of this already abysmal mess was equally as miserable.

This is my point. If you are going to go ahead with a silly little plot, at least be able to execute it effectively. Sandra Bullock needs to reevaluate who she is as an actor and figure out how to say this one magic word..."no". Come on Sandra, can you say this with me?"No". Learn how to spot a crappy script when you see one and avoid it like the freaking plague. This movie was a “Lifetime Network” version of the brilliant movie Ground Hog Day. Lifetime is where this piece of garbage should have ended up! Do not proceed to the theaters, do not pass to DVD, go straight to Lifetime! People I implore you, do not waste your time. Avoid this miserable flick as if your life depends on it!

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Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

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Reviewed by lordodin

I'll begin by saying that just like the millions of others nerds, losers and geeks alike, my Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows has been preordered for weeks and it will be at my doorstep this Saturday via amazon.com! Now for the review: Unlike many Potter fans, my favorite book thus far is the Order of the Phoenix. It is because the book is a very nice prelude of things to come. The Order of the Phoenix is the lengthiest of the Potter books and there are a ton of things going on, along with loads of answers to which Potter fans may have had in the previous four efforts.

Now the big question: Knowing how involved the Order of the Phoenix is in the book, were the screenwriters able to stress the gist of the story well enough without having to alter, or leave out too much? Although I was disappointed that some very key things were left out of the movie, the overall story was told very effectively considering that the movie was a hair under two and one half hours. If you are a fan of the book, you won't be "too" disappointed in the movie.

Area of concern: The producers of the Potter franchise needs to go "Lord of the Rings" and The "Matrix 2 and 3", and hurry to complete the final two movies because the kids are growing up at an alarming rate. Harry is the size of a fricking lumberjack, Ron's knuckles are practically scraping the ground, The Weasley twins look as though they should have grandchildren, and Hermione is well ...kinda hot. They need to put the pedal to the metal and knock the last two movies out before Harry starts looking like Voldemort's big brother!

Special effects: They definitely could have been better. two hundred million dollars was spent on this film, and I wish that the majority of the budget would have gone into special effects. The effects were ok, but they have not improved much. In fact, the Goblet of Fire has better special effects than Order of the Phoenix. A certain giant looks pretty cartoonish, the flying sequences appear to be no different than the first Potter movie, and more could have been done with Dumbledore since the audience finally gets to see him kicking some dark wizard ass! Oh yeah speaking of that: In the book, Fudge, Percy, Umbridge, and two Aurors got their proverbial bells rung by Dumbledore. It's not in the movie though. Big crowd-pleasing moment wasted.

Character development: We all know who the characters are in Harry Potter; the only question is how good of an acting job did they do, and how good was the script. The actors get an "A" and so does the script. These brats still care about their characters! One can tell by the passion that they exude on the big screen, and I could not have been happier about it. To all of you Gary Oldman fans out there, frickin Sirius Black nailed it. He was sooo cool. I was in the theater thinking, how one dude can be so damn cool. Man oh man, tragic about the fate of Black.

I would have liked to see more of Severus Snape and Luna Lovegood. These characters are very interesting and Snape steals every single scene that he is in as he has done since the first Potter movie. Final analysis: Go see this movie. Those of you who have not read the book will think it is an excellent movie, those of you who have will be pleased as well, though, not as much.

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Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer

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Reviewed by lordodin

I've given this movie 2 stars and I'm being nice. Hate to go "fan boy", but with delicate subject matter concerning the nature of the Fantastic Four I must go Fan Boy!! This movie was phenomenal to watch. The effects were top of the line. The Surfer's flying sequences were to be beheld, as well as the Human Torch's scenes (even better looking than the first Fantastic Four). This movie had a very good plot that could have been developed to its maximum potential. Notice I said "could have". But, enough of the niceties, it's time to get for real. Let me preface this by saying that I understand that sometimes what works in novels, cartoons, graphic novels, and other origins do not always work well on the big screen. That being said, this had to be the laziest effort that I have ever seen! This worthless movie didn't even attempt to stick to the graphic novel! OK, I'll list what was accurate.

1. They got the name of their buildings headquarters correct
2. They had "four" members of the Fantastic Four and they got their names and powers correct.
3. The Silver Surfer "looked" like the Silver Surfer
4. Galactus' name is "Galactus"

THAT IS IT!!!!

Were the producers of this film too cheap to throw a few million more bucks at the effects team so that a corporeal formed Galactus could be viewed instead of something that looked like bad weather?
What was up with them insinuating that the Silver Surfer's power cosmic is derived from his board and that the Surfer without his board is harmless? Every molecule of the Surfer's body is rich in the power cosmic. He does not need his board to maintain his near limitless power. They basically reduced the awesome endowment of powers to which Galactus bestowed upon the Silver Surfer down to saying "got the board, got the power". And yes, Dr. Doom has relieved the Surfer of his powers before, but it was more complicated than just hoping on his board and letting it rip. Also, Johnny Storm "never" and I mean never has had the power of all four members. That would be a villain called "The Super Skrull", and he achieved this through scientific means with the assistance of a highly advanced alien civilization, not because he was in direct contact with a cosmic source. This movie took so much license, that I cannot believe that Stan Lee would actually endorse this embarrassing mess.
Would this movie had been any less watchable had they shown Galactus?
Would it had been any less watchable had they maintained the Surfer's true capabilities. By the way, the Surfer has no weaknesses. He can only be overcome by advanced scientific means or a ridiculous amount of power. The Fantastic Four cannot match the Surfer's might; the Surfer could absorb the power of a star and completely obliterate the entire planet if he felt so disposed. But, what the “Four” lacks in power, they more than make up for it by having the greatest mind on the entire planet as their head-honcho: Reed freaking Richards. He has humbled many would be conquerors and powerhouses, with science alone. If this was the screenwriter’s best effort, they should all be fired and blacklisted from the entire film industry! This was nothing but a CGI extravaganza which explained nothing about the majesty that is the Fantastic Four. And lastly, a glimpse of Galactus would have made for an excellent reason for moviegoers to await the next sequel. Marvel, and whomever else was behind this foolishness.....you owe me one. Were it not for the fans of graphic novels, there would be no Spiderman, Batman, Superman, Fantastic Four, X-Men, etc. Every movie that I have listed maintains the integrity of the associated graphic novels save one, the Fantastic Four. Great movies can be made while maintaining the important parts of the origins. Look at the Lord of the Rings trilogy. The screenwriters hardly deviated from Tolkien’s works at all and it is considered by many the greatest trilogy of all time! This should serve as a friendly reminder, that some things don't need to be altered, and some things should be tweaked ever so slightly. The Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer however, was a freaking hatchet job!

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Transformers

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Reviewed by lordodin

I will start this review by saying that I usually watch movies with no expectations so that I will not have a built in bias and thus enjoy it or despise it accordingly. However, I am a product of the Reagan-era 1980's where cartoons were king; Remember those days? Remember The Thundercats, Voltron, Bravestar, Thundaar the Barbarian, G.I. Joe, G-Force, the Go-Bots, the list goes on and on. One cartoon however, stood far above all of which I have mentioned: It was called the frickin' Transformers! Before I knew that a live-action version of the cartoon would be made, I thought, "Would it not be cool to put the Transformers in live action". CGI took off and audiences around the globe soon discovered that "anything" could be adapted for the screen. So my wish has been granted and the Transformers are here. Referring back to my opening sentence, I "did" have expectations going in to this film. I expected lots of fighting between the Autobots and Decepticons, state of the art special effects, at least 2hours running time, corny speeches from Optimus prime, equally corny rule-the-world mumbo-jumbo from Megatron, and a close likeness to the cartoon. All of my expectations were met and exceeded. This movie was just as ridiculous and corny as the cartoon. All the save the world, human life should be respected and cherished, I'll get you next time Optimus, you're the last hope for humanity quirky silliness from the cartoon was seamlessly transferred to the film. Moreover, I am a bit of a fan boy and I know that within the film lied many inaccuracies. But I will not bother mentioning them because half of you will have no idea what I am talking about, and the other half could not care less. Besides, does it really matter? No, I expected the general concept of the Transformers to be represented and it was. The action scenes were done so well, that I was literally a gasp, thinking," how in the world did they do that?” And there were even a few laugh-out-loud moments that took place among the audience and me. The romance between Shia and Meagan was incredibly weak. She was as shallow as they come, and he came off as a tongue-wagging pubescent teenager. I wish that the Autobots were depicted more seriously. The film did them a disservice by making them "too" clownish. The cartoon’s Optimus Prime would never say "my bad". Nevertheless, my complaints are few, as I stated before, mission accomplished. Now, is this a good movie? I would have to say yes, it is a good movie. However, Transformers enthusiasts may find the movie disagreeable. Stuffy old critics who would not know how to have a good time to save their lives will find this movie shallow and half-baked. Many will experience "battle weariness" after the first hour and a half (there are probably more explosions in this movie than WWI, and WWII combined). And lastly, for the women out there who are lifetime network aficionados, this is a film made by guys, for guys, there's no romance, no love story, no good relationships, in fact it is difficult to care for a single character in the entire film; well maybe Bumblebee and he's a freakin' robot! That aside, no this is not The Lord of the Rings, Spiderman I, or any of the other highly acclaimed action-based films. It is the Transformers, so just deal with it.

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