Name: xXJrazor24Xx

Most Recent Reviews by xXJrazor24Xx

Transporter 3

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Reviewed by xXJrazor24Xx

This movie is by far the worst of the series. The stories never make much sense and the action is usually so over the top that it is, more often than not, laughable. Transporter 2 made this work by embracing its own ridiculousness and having a lot of fun with it. Transporter 3 seems like it should be doing the same, but instead wastes endless minutes of precious screen time desperately trying to explain the inexplicable. Villains and police detective MacGuffins drone on and on, desperately trying to convince us this is a logical, sensible action film while at the same time inventing completely random reasons for Jason Statham to take his shirt off. This is not a real plot, and because it wastes so much time trying to convince us that it is, Transporter 3 also isn’t any fun.

If there’s anything good to be said for Transporter 3 it’s that at least, for once, Jason Statham’s Frank Martin character is actually transporting something. In theory Martin is a professional driver, a man of precision who will transport high-value cargo from point A to point B, without asking in questions. In practice, previous movies have rarely given Frank much opportunity to do any actual driving, inventing kidnappings and other excuses for him to get out of the car and kick doors down. For the third film they’ve solved that problem by, almost literally, tying Frank Martin to wheel of his car.

For reasons he doesn’t at first understand, Frank is kidnapped by a mysterious group of nefarious thugs and ordered to drive to various locations for unspecified reasons. In the passenger seat with him is a girl (Natalya Rudakova), who seems as confused by this whole mess as Frank is. To ensure Martin’s cooperation, the thugs in question have strapped a bomb to his wrist which, should he stray more than a specified distance from his automobile, will go off. Frank is stuck behind the wheel and he has no idea why. To make matters worse the freckled, drunken slut sitting next to him can’t speak English and yet absolutely will not shut up. While Frank eventually seems to find this attractive, for the audience being forced along with them for the ride, it’s torture. Maybe 100 minutes of incoherent babbling from an Eastern European prostitute is your idea of a good time, but it’s not mine. Shoot her Frank! Shoot her!

Eventually we do find out what’s going on, but it’s so silly that you’ll resent the time Transporter 3 wastes in telling you. And believe me, it wastes a lot of it. When the film isn’t wasting your time with awful bad guy monologuing or bumbling, unrelated police work, it’s engaged in a variety of fairly humdrum, often stupid action sequences. Frank rarely fights any worthy opponents and when he does it’s filmed with annoying quick cuts which limit whatever little excitement there is to be gained from it. The car chases aren’t much better. There’s a halfway decent sequence involving Frank on a bicycle, but the film’s only other automobile pursuit involves two cars driving slowly through the woods. With a plot this bad you really need to deliver big time stunts but Transporter 3 just doesn’t have that in it. This is the kind of movie where cars which drive off cliffs must instantly explode on impact and where bad guys attack one at a time, even if there’s ten of them standing around in a group. That says it all really. What a bunch of nonsense.

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Transporter 2

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Reviewed by xXJrazor24Xx

I know this is a late review but I saw the movie again the other night and had to review it. This is the sequel to the original 2002 movie that takes place a few years later and is set in Miami. Ex-Special Forces operative Frank Martin (Jason Statham) has moved from his former locale in the French Mediterranean, but he still transports anything his clients ask for without asking too many questions. His latest job though involves transporting a specific person. After defending himself from a female carjacker (AnnaLynne) and her four male carjacker thugs (Reggie Pierre, Elie Thompson, Adam Faldetta, and Michael House) in the opening scene, he heads over to the house of wealthy drug czar Jefferson “Jeff” Billings (Matthew Modine.) The job, which was a favor to his friend Tony, consists of chauffeuring Jeff’s young son Jack (Hunter Clary) to and from school. Frank has only been doing it for a month, but he soon forms a bond with Jack. He tries to protect Jack from bad guys, but he also shields him from the constant bickering between Jeff and his estranged wife and Jack’s mother, Audrey (Amber Valletta.) There are bad guys though, and one of them is international criminal Gianni (Alessandro Gassman.) His plan is to kidnap little Jack, inject him with a bio-engineered virus, and ransom his release and the antidote for $5 million. On the way to take Jack to his doctor’s appointment before his surprise birthday party, Dimitri (Jason Flemyng) and the lingerie-wearing Lola (Katie Nauta), two henchpeople of Gianni, arrive there first. They kill Frank’s pediatrician Dr. Koblin (Andy Horne) and his receptionist (Damaris Justamante), and take over their positions in the office. Frank gets a weird feeling while being in the office, and soon that feeling turns out to be the right one. After a shootout and an escape from the office, Dimitri and Lola succeed in kidnapping Jack in front of the Billings estate. Jeff and U.S. Marshal Stappleton (Keith David) implicate Frank in the kidnapping, but Audrey insists that he is innocent. Frank calls upon French police inspector Tarconi (François Berléand), a friend of his who is conveniently in Miami for a vacation, for some help in finding Gianni. Unfortunately, Tarconi ends up in police custody himself, though he spends most of the movie in the station house and not in a cell, where, for some reason, no one seems to care that he freely uses the station’s computers. Frank must find Jack and clear his own name before Gianni succeeds in implementing his even bigger scheme.

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Gran Torino

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Reviewed by xXJrazor24Xx

“Gran Torino” is reportedly the last movie that Clint Eastwood will ever star in. It marks the end of a long, wildly successful acting career, but Eastwood will no doubt continue to direct films for years to come (he directed “Gran Torino” and also composed music for the film and sings a song over the credits). Eastwood began his career as an actor over 50 years ago, appearing in some forgettable science fiction movies before landing the memorable role of Rowdy Yates in the popular TV series, “Rawhide” and then appearing in a series of great Sergio Leone spaghetti westerns, the greatest of which was “The Good, The Bad and the Ugly,” considered by many to be the greatest film of the Western genre.

His hard-bitten, taciturn character in Gran Torino, Walt Kowalski, is not altogether different than the characters he played in those old Italian Westerns or in his popular “Dirty Harry” movies. Kowalski, a Korean War veteran, has a perpetual scowl on his face. He is unapologetically politically incorrect, calling his Vietnamese neighbors “gooks” and “slopes.” He has a whole store of ancient disparaging phrases for every sort of minority and ethnic type. The movie, of course reveals that he really has a heart of gold. Inside, he is an old softie. Outside, he may be old and sick, but he is still tough as nails. As he notes to a bunch of neighborhood toughs roughing up a girl who lives next door, he is one old guy you don't want to mess with.

When he catches his next door neighbor, Thao (Bee Vang), trying to steal his prized, mint 1972 Gran Torino car, he eventually becomes a mentor to the boy (after shooting at him at first). He eventually becomes the boy's protector from local gang members, along with his sister, Sue (Ahney Her), and their whole family. While the film is mostly grim (it opens and closes with funerals) it does have one of the funniest moments of any film of the year when Thao shows that he has learned Walt's lesson on how to “talk like a man” during his job interview. Walt's hostility towards his next door neighbors gradually melts away under an avalanche of gifts from a grateful neighborhood. Tensions between Walt and the heavily-armed gang members continues to mount throughout the movie. It finally ends with a showdown, but there is a twist to the story. In addition to Walt's relationship with his neighbors, there is also a related story about his difficult relationship with his sons and grandchildren. Yet another subplot relates to Walt's troubled relationship with the church, similar to a subplot in Eastwood's earlier award-winning film, “Million Dollar Baby.” He finally warms to a determined family priest, Father Janovich (Christopher Carley).

While some parts of the story seem awkward, and not all the parts fit together, and Walt's character is inconsistent, it seems fitting for Eastwood to end his acting career this way, with a character very much in the mold of a gunslinger, or his most famous movie character, Dirty Harry. He goes out with a bang. He goes out as a hero. He can be forgiven if he goes out a little bit over the top.

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The Dark Knight

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Reviewed by xXJrazor24Xx

The Dark Knight was my favorite movie of the year. Christian Bale(Batman) and Heath Ledger(The Joker) made the movie what it is. This movie has great action and fight scenes and the plot ties them all together. This was a great movie and deserves all the Oscar Nominations that it received.

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